so.

its been a while. Currently at my mothers house.

I've moved house. So far, so good. Everyones warm and friendly. My room is small and cute. Im only one person, how much space do I need? I dont have as many things either. Its nice.

I got the dreaded flu. Knocked me for six. I hate being sick. I feel horrible for not being at work. I know how difficult it can be when your down a staff member. I have this terrible work ethic which tells me "You must go to work, always". I dont understand how people can just call in sick so easily. How sick can you be? Are you dying? Elephant crushed your face?
I get sick alot, constant sniffles and hayfevers but I dont get ill. Not like this. Every time I cough its like I am trying to push sand up out my lungs. Its a constant annoyance. I am fatigued too. Its hardwork, this being sick business.

Because I havent worked, I have no money. Because I am sick I havent really left the house so I cant spend my non existant duckets anyway.

Things are changing. Things have changed.
Sometimes, its all very tiring.

christmas in july

So I told the house.
R1ce understands, like I knew he would.
Darkness doesnt like me one bit. Things have been said and things have remained unsaid. I will always have a place for you, if you will have me. That being said, I wont apologise for being selfish. I am not a selfish person by nature and god only knows this whole scenario has been painful. I have cried alot. Not anymore though. In the end I have to look out for myself.

Rainbow really is my best friend, I am so lucky to have her. She has been wonderful, I didnt want her to get stuck in the middle. I am sorry my decision had to effect others in such a negative fashion. I gave the information, it up to you how you wish to react.

I sit here, wide awake at 6am, surrounded by beautiful people. People who I really do love. Its amazing where the last few months have taken me. Beautiful places with beautiful people.

Ive learnt so much about friendship in the last couple of weeks. My own values have been reaffirmed, I count my blessings so much more and although it hurts, how people can let you down.

My friends are like christmas in july.

nothing wrong?

Quite the hectic past week. At least, internally.
Money Vs Bindii
Round 1398.
I have a lot to think about. Its hard. I want to, it would be so different, so out of my comfort zone. Its rather enticing. Part of me doesn't want to lose what I have now. I'm very comfortable at the moment. I could potentially save $50 dollars a week. That's a lot of money. If these pirates would take me in. I don't want to lose Darkness or R1ce. I hate to leave them, I dont want them to loathe me. It would hurt. Hurt to much.

:/

Life's horrid sometimes.

I am having a good go at it though. Finally.

67. 67. 67.

Ahwoo.

ratio's

I was never very good at ratio's in maths. I was never really good at maths in general but my spin to pot ratio is off. Im still figuring this out.

-Got hectic again.

Wednesday night.

We even ended up with a hole in the wall.

Its patched now.

I dont think I will ever not be a little bit mad about what happened.

Its made me think alot about how friends show and honour their love for each other. People have different values and expectations. It was confusing in high school because everyone used to fight and bicker between themselves over such little things. It seemed insane. The biggest for me was Mr Cakes and I, after I broke it off our friendship became messy and it took a while for things to right itself again because we had different expectations of what our friendship was to be. I got lucky with Rainbow, we talked about this today, we think that no one has a perfect friendship, things do get crinkled and need ironing and sometimes there will always be the tiniest crinkle that you cant get out but for the majority of the time it doesn't matter. You cherish the good times because in the end they out weigh the bad. And thats all that matters. You should be thankful of the beautiful memories a person has given you. After all, arent they the things you want to remember?

I am very glad to know the people I do, new and old.

I just feel so lucky.

achoo.

Shit hit the fan when I was at work.

Wine had been in a mood since waking, we know this because he slams doors and stomps up and down the stairs. Rainbow, Rice and I woke him up accidently this morning at about 7.30? We hadnt been to bed yet as Rainbow and I both had been working... Rainbow asked him what was wrong and he didnt really say. We cant get to the source of the problem if you dont talk about it.

Apparently when I was at work Rice and Wine had words. Now Rice tells me once he gets a job and saves some money he is moving out. I dont really like it when this sort of stuff happens. Apparently Wine was complaining about the mess and how no one does anything. I dont think its that bad. We have a chore chart, it doesnt work. My washing up? A mug and spoon. All I eat are cup of soups and maybe a bowl here or there, Im too lazy to cook. I think to myself, "its not my mess, why should I clean it up?", then I think "when everyone cleans the bathroom and the loungeroom they clean up my mess, so I am being rather unfair". I dont know. I am too lazy really. I work everyday and the last thing I want to do is clean. I clean at work. I wish I could sit at home and surf the net and stuff. I work nearly full time and my hours are all over the shop. I work 6- close then dont go to bed for hours, I then sleep through most of the day.

I am going to start making more of an effort with the cleaning and shit though. If it makes everyone else happier :)

I dont want Rice to go, I understand his reasoning and such but he has been like my safe house so to speak since I moved to Newcastle 2 yrs ago. Who else can I barge in on at 6am off my face and have a conversation with every time? I enjoy living with him because I get home from work and he is awake. I have someone to talk, drink coffee and smoke with. Hes a good kid.

It could be months before he moves out but it still makes me sad.

In other news, Rainbow has a house to live in! One we can all hang out in! I hooked her up with a sweet room with sweet peeps. Fuck, I got connections. Honestly cant wait. She will be so much happier. Shes a short walk and free bus away! Still, would be mental if she lived with me. I love her so much because she would boot me up the arse and make me clean. The other day I was so stoned and she's like "Elly, if you dont go put the rubbish out you cant have a cone! The amount of time youve spent procrastinating you could have put it out and then smoked it already!". Shes a real catch for a best friend! :)

And in other news. Its not fair. Why do we always want what we cant have. I think I have forgotten or I am just exaggerating to give myself something to think about, I mean surely you arent that attractive. You are though. Its brilliant. I forget how to act so I come across all plain, vacant and boring. Its not fair. Its like having a school girl crush. I was sober this time, so I know I didnt have any sort of goggles on. You look good, really good. And interesting. And fun. I really dont even know you. Not really, Ive known you for a long time. A hell of a long time. I would like to know you. I think you would be fun to hang out and party with. I think that would be enough for me. I would never dream to ask of anything more. I know it wouldnt happen. And if something did I would probably run away because I wouldnt want to disappoint you.

I toy with the idea that the thought of you is more exciting than it actually would be in real life. Maybe you would be a shit cunt? I dont think so. I just cant believe how hot you are. You would have to be one of the most attractive people I have ever met.

true.

Everything will be ok in the end. I am, overall, having lots of super happy fun times. I enjoy work most of the time. I like sitting in my own loungeroom. I really only sleep in my room. Rice and Wine spend time in theirs. I much prefer the loungeroom. I have $25 dollars saved for my prklife ticket. I am not buying tailors now,just rollies. I need to save up some money for new tyres. I need a new pair of black skinnes so I can wear them to work. I dont actually own a pair anymore, just my gross ones with the giant hole in the crutch ^_^

Oh! As I was walking away today after a delivery-

boy 1- what are you doing?

boy 2- just checking her out.

Well, I hoped he liked what he saw. Pretty sure I had epic muffin top at the time.

The UV therapy and creams are helping too. My legs are still all gross and blotchy but there is hardly any flaky skins bits. And its not as itchy. By summer 09 I would like to go out in shorts. I can handle redness. Just not the icky bits. I no longer have to wear two stockings either and and and the other day I wore light grey stockings for the first time in months because the lesions werent overly visable through the stockings!

I have heaps more I could blab on about but Im not going to sit here all night. I have open today at 11am.

Ciao,

x

its love.

Wow.

Take me..

parklife 09

october 4th.

crystal castles, empire of the sun, art vs science, bertie blackman, la roux, tiga.

i am going. i cant not go. will be a brilliant day. going dressed as a japanese schoolgirl I think.

tickets go on sale on the 25th of june.

i cannot wait.

this is what i truely love to do.