achoo.

Shit hit the fan when I was at work.

Wine had been in a mood since waking, we know this because he slams doors and stomps up and down the stairs. Rainbow, Rice and I woke him up accidently this morning at about 7.30? We hadnt been to bed yet as Rainbow and I both had been working... Rainbow asked him what was wrong and he didnt really say. We cant get to the source of the problem if you dont talk about it.

Apparently when I was at work Rice and Wine had words. Now Rice tells me once he gets a job and saves some money he is moving out. I dont really like it when this sort of stuff happens. Apparently Wine was complaining about the mess and how no one does anything. I dont think its that bad. We have a chore chart, it doesnt work. My washing up? A mug and spoon. All I eat are cup of soups and maybe a bowl here or there, Im too lazy to cook. I think to myself, "its not my mess, why should I clean it up?", then I think "when everyone cleans the bathroom and the loungeroom they clean up my mess, so I am being rather unfair". I dont know. I am too lazy really. I work everyday and the last thing I want to do is clean. I clean at work. I wish I could sit at home and surf the net and stuff. I work nearly full time and my hours are all over the shop. I work 6- close then dont go to bed for hours, I then sleep through most of the day.

I am going to start making more of an effort with the cleaning and shit though. If it makes everyone else happier :)

I dont want Rice to go, I understand his reasoning and such but he has been like my safe house so to speak since I moved to Newcastle 2 yrs ago. Who else can I barge in on at 6am off my face and have a conversation with every time? I enjoy living with him because I get home from work and he is awake. I have someone to talk, drink coffee and smoke with. Hes a good kid.

It could be months before he moves out but it still makes me sad.

In other news, Rainbow has a house to live in! One we can all hang out in! I hooked her up with a sweet room with sweet peeps. Fuck, I got connections. Honestly cant wait. She will be so much happier. Shes a short walk and free bus away! Still, would be mental if she lived with me. I love her so much because she would boot me up the arse and make me clean. The other day I was so stoned and she's like "Elly, if you dont go put the rubbish out you cant have a cone! The amount of time youve spent procrastinating you could have put it out and then smoked it already!". Shes a real catch for a best friend! :)

And in other news. Its not fair. Why do we always want what we cant have. I think I have forgotten or I am just exaggerating to give myself something to think about, I mean surely you arent that attractive. You are though. Its brilliant. I forget how to act so I come across all plain, vacant and boring. Its not fair. Its like having a school girl crush. I was sober this time, so I know I didnt have any sort of goggles on. You look good, really good. And interesting. And fun. I really dont even know you. Not really, Ive known you for a long time. A hell of a long time. I would like to know you. I think you would be fun to hang out and party with. I think that would be enough for me. I would never dream to ask of anything more. I know it wouldnt happen. And if something did I would probably run away because I wouldnt want to disappoint you.

I toy with the idea that the thought of you is more exciting than it actually would be in real life. Maybe you would be a shit cunt? I dont think so. I just cant believe how hot you are. You would have to be one of the most attractive people I have ever met.

true.

Everything will be ok in the end. I am, overall, having lots of super happy fun times. I enjoy work most of the time. I like sitting in my own loungeroom. I really only sleep in my room. Rice and Wine spend time in theirs. I much prefer the loungeroom. I have $25 dollars saved for my prklife ticket. I am not buying tailors now,just rollies. I need to save up some money for new tyres. I need a new pair of black skinnes so I can wear them to work. I dont actually own a pair anymore, just my gross ones with the giant hole in the crutch ^_^

Oh! As I was walking away today after a delivery-

boy 1- what are you doing?

boy 2- just checking her out.

Well, I hoped he liked what he saw. Pretty sure I had epic muffin top at the time.

The UV therapy and creams are helping too. My legs are still all gross and blotchy but there is hardly any flaky skins bits. And its not as itchy. By summer 09 I would like to go out in shorts. I can handle redness. Just not the icky bits. I no longer have to wear two stockings either and and and the other day I wore light grey stockings for the first time in months because the lesions werent overly visable through the stockings!

I have heaps more I could blab on about but Im not going to sit here all night. I have open today at 11am.

Ciao,

x